Do you and your partner fight constantly? Do you feel like the things that made you fall in love with them are now the things that seem to drive you nuts? Has it been months since the two of you have been intimate? Or perhaps with time, the two of you feel more like platonic roommates than a pair in love?

If you said yes to those, or if it sparked something else in you that you wish you weren’t feeling, then maybe couples counseling is right for you and your other half.

Maybe the two of you have taken a step and would like a chance to re-evaluate and check in with the relationship. Big events such as, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, and having your first child are all major milestones. Sometimes these big events, while exciting, can be quite stressful. Counseling can help you identify problem areas, teach you new skills, and ultimately strengthen your relationship.

Counseling is often better to be started when problems first arise. Likely, if you’re considering couples or marital counseling, maybe one or both of you feel at the breaking point. That IS okay. If you are both open to the idea of counseling and believe you have some fight left in you to save your relationship, then counseling can help. Even if you have both agreed to separate or divorce, counseling can still help gain closure and establish consistent parenting between households.

The first appointment for couples (whether married or not) will include you both. Prior to the session you will each be asked to complete intake paperwork as you will both be considered clients. During the 55-minute appointment (some insurances only allow 45 minutes) I will ask questions to help identify conflicts in the relationship, establish goals for therapy, and explain what you can expect from future sessions. If at the end of the session you both wish to continue, you will each be scheduled an intake assessment. This is necessary so I can learn about each of you as individuals, your past, and determine if there may be mental health disorders that need to be incorporated into treatment. For example, one partner may describe the other as “controlling” during the initial appointment but through the intake assessment I may determine that they have Generalized Anxiety Disorder that has not been previously diagnosed or treated. Improving the individual’s anxiety and educating their partner about the disorder would be incorporated as part of the treatment plan.

Participating in couples therapy will absolutely include homework. Whether you meet in the office for your sessions or utilize the convenience of telehealth, I frequently provide handouts that cover topics that we discuss. This can be helpful for you to revisit in the future when you’re no longer in therapy, as well as to help you complete your homework in between your appointments. Homework can include things such as practicing new ways of communicating with one another, spending time with each other, or reading suggested books. Although the time in therapy varies from one couple to the next, those who take their homework seriously are the ones most likely to succeed with therapy and accomplish their goals at a quicker pace.

Common issues (but not limited to):

Arguing
Blended family
Boundaries and expectations
Communication
Divorce
Feeling distant
Finances
Grief and loss
Infertility
Infidelity
Parenting

Pre-marriage
Separation
Sexual concerns
Transitional changes (new job, having a child, getting married, etc.)
Trust and security